Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero (2015, Kaare Andrews)
American Pigs Abroad, Rudy, Cheesy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, etc.
Movie Watched: 8
Appropriate Grossness: 2
A pretty low-grade horror movie, consisting of necrotizing fasciitis, Sean Astin (Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!), and a bunch of actors much better suited to porn, including a high-ranking medical doctor wearing a lab coat with a bikini underneath. If you take nothing else from this review, understand this: THIS IS NOT A GOOD MOVIE. I mean, to be fair, it’s a pretty novel approach to the zombie movie - they’re not zombies, they’re just infecting with an extremely aggressive kind of flesh eating bacteria that eats away at them until they die a vometously bloody death. But for some reason, no one ever really dies. It’s not funny, but it thinks it’s funny; it’s not cool, but it thinks it’s cool; this is the “bro” of horror movies. To cap it off, it’s also disgusting. Gross.
P.S. The other thing wrong with this movie is that it seems SOOOO LOOOONG. Avoid at all costs.