Condemned (2015, Eli Morgan Gesner)
Zombies, NYC, Squatting, Low Budget, Stupid, etc.

Acting: 4
Anxiety: 2
Atmosphere: 3
Movie Watched: 8
Appropriate Grossness: 5
Production: 3
Recommended: 4
Scares: 2
Story: 2
Unpredictable: 4

Total: 38

Wow, was this a hunk of junk or what. It has Sean Penn’s daughter in it, and I figured hey, it’s her first movie, that’s a big name, maybe it’ll be good. Instead, it’s some just-graduate-from-Tish, faux-cerebral zombie flick that doesn’t have a lot of zombies. I could also do without the going-down-the-pipes cut scenes between what’s happening in each apartment. More than anything, this movie left me with a lot of questions: has the writer ever been to New York City? Why is there a gay dominatrix butcher in one apartment? Why don’t I ever see beautiful heroin, young addicts in the abandoned buildings in Philly? Why does this abandoned building look like luxury apartments? Lastly, why does it take SO long for the zombies to show up? Total pass, but I’ll tell you this - Katie and I had a ton of fun watching this and talking through it, wondering about how it came to be. If that’s your kind of thing, then I would actually recommend!

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