Haunting of the Innocent (Matt Hish, 2014)
Haunted House, Judd Nelson, Super Low Quality, Made for TV-ish

Acting: 4
Anxiety: 1
Atmosphere: 2
Movie Watched: 6
Appropriate Grossness: 3
Production: 3
Recommended: 3
Scares: 1
Story: 3
Unpredictable: 5

Total: 31

I learned when I was young not to be tricked by top billing by the movie The Curse of El Charro, which “starred” Danny Trejo. I loved Danny Trejo, but he didn’t star in the movie: he voiced a ghost for literally a couple of sentences. Just like Judd Nelson isn’t “in this movie.” He has a couple of lines in the first few minutes of the movie, and then we never see him again. Anyway. This is a fun movie to watch and make fun of while watching. It really stinks. It features a 10 year old played by an obviously not 10 year old who’s still drawing perspective-less, blotchy drawings: really weird CGI; and crows, which I actually liked. It’s a ghost-ish story based in Norse mythology. There’s a not-that-bad movie hidden deep, deep inside of this one. But it’s down too deep, and we can’t dive that far down yet without running out of oxygen. Now THAT’S scary. Pass.