Scary Movie Reviews A
:: The Abandoned :: 2015 :: Eytan Rockaway ::
I tend to like IFC After Dark films. They’re pretty well done, and usually very interesting. They’re a little low budget, so you’re not going to get all of the bells and whistles, but that affords them the freedom to try things that might not be commercially big-budget numbers. Anyway. Young woman gets a security job in a huge, old abandoned apartment building, an incredibly beautiful one that was never finished. Only one coworker, and he’s a total dick - though, he is the best actor of the bunch. It’s her job to patrol the building and all that, and it’s opulent and creepy and she’s haunted by her own memories, and a cast of other pretty freaky characters. The guys dickishness is tiresome and unwarranted, and makes for the most boring parts of an otherwise effective and eerie beginning to the movie. It’s good, it’s creepy, there are the usual bad decisions, and then there are…deformed children? And more and more and more deformed children, doing naughty things. Wow. What a great way to ruin a decent setup. Then the movie just goes from bad to worse. It becomes to stupid that I almost wished I could have ended it at exactly 45:20, which would have made it a tidy little scary movie about monsters in the dark. Last complaint: the movie is set in an extraordinary beautiful, old apartment building, which is creepy in all of the right, The Shining-esque ways, but they chose to focus nearly the entire movie on a desolate, empty, concrete dormitory below the apartment building. What a serious waste of a wonderful setting. Recommend if you’re desperate and have watched everything else on Netflix.
P.S. I’m SO SICK of seeing mental institutions portrayed in horror movies. Can’t we move beyond that trope? It’s so fucking insensitive.
:: Altar :: 2014 :: Nick Willing ::
I wanted to like this movie. It basically starts with a Wuthering Heights joke, which is OK by my book. And it has Olivia Williams. She’s good! Rushmore, The Sixth Sense, The Last Days on Mars, I loved her in those movies. And Matthew Modine’s no joke. But, as usual, horror is the genre actors go to die - literally and metaphorically! This movie is boring, slightly nonsensical, and just…I don’t know, limp. The psychosis that descends on the family is predictable and tepid, the scenes drawn out, and the acting is just OK. It clunks along, and then it ends. What a world we live in.
:: Apartment 143 :: 2011 :: Carles Torrens ::
The worse thing I can say about this movie is that it’s entirely unoriginal. There's a horrendous monologue by the father about an hour into the movie. It’s uninteresting, and I wasn’t invested in the characters to begin with, and it ends up making me feel bummerish feelings toward the movie in general. Anyway. It’s not a terrible movie. It’s not a great movie. It has some jump scares, and starts out pretty quiet (which I always like), and the characters are alright. Another middle of the pack movie without much to recommend it. A decent watch when you’ve exhausted other options, but it certainly won’t blow you away.
:: As Above, So Below :: 2014 :: John Erick Dowdle ::
So, what gives? I totally liked As Above, So Below. Did not anticipate that. I expected your run-of-the-mill, everyone-who’s-ever-existed-is-in-their-late-20s, strictly-for-teens kind of romp, but it turns out this movie was smart, eerie, and interesting. It takes place in the catacombs below Paris. A number of 20-somethings who become trapped down there try to escape by going…FURTHER DOWN. It’s kind of a head-trip in the end, which is cool, but unfortunately some of the scares are super cheesy. It’s scary enough as is, without boogedies occasionally jumping out and demon monks or whatever. But who am I to judge, the creepy/silly characters are a part of the fun, and help the movie not take itself TOO seriously. Anyway, totally worth the watch, enjoy!