Scary Movie Reviews F
:: From the Dark :: 2014 :: Conor McMahon ::
This is a movie of ups and downs, which I ultimately found boring. I’m not going to lie to you - I watched this movie specifically because I had not yet reviewed a movie that started with the letter F, and I thought that it looked bad on the site. I had been avoiding this movie for a few reasons: The title is generic, and the cover art taught me nothing about the movie except, spoiler alert, a woman in it at one point is afraid and in the dark. Maybe this is my own prejudice. I can’t help but feel the cover they put together is for a movie in which a woman is, say, trapped in an abandoned subway system while a man with meat hooks where his hands should be is skulking around in the dark, murdering the homeless population. But there’s a good movie in here. The cinematography is nice, and there are a lot of interesting shots (the vampire outside the window, the crumbling man, etc.), and I like that the vampire is an old style, ugly, nearly unintelligent beast, not a handsome debonair from Victorian England. All in all, it’s got some exciting bits, and I actually love Irish horror movies. The banter in the beginning (you know, when everything’s perfect, except for maybe the hubris of the common man) is fun and better than usual. I can’t say I’ll ever feel inclined to watch this again, but worth a watch on a dark Thursday night.
P.S. I kind of thought this movie ended at about an hour in, and wrote this review during “the final scene.” Which wasn’t the final scene. That’s not great, everyone.
BONUS: So what’s the deal with vampires and sunlight? Why don’t they die in moonlight?
Well, I don’t know. No one really does. There are a lot of theories, but the truth is that the whole vampire/sunlight paradigm was invented by the 1922 movie Nosferatu. Folkloric vampires did not, in fact, fear the sun; though they were, in general, nocturnal. So the fact that a vampire would die in sunlight is a relatively new invention, and it’s up to anyone and everyone to come up with a reason why they won’t die in moonlight!
:: The Forest :: 2016 :: Jason Zada ::
Alright, so this movie wasn’t so bad! I mean, that shouldn’t be the bar I’m setting for horror movies, but it isn’t. I was really expecting to to be horribly offensive and exploitive of another culture. I’m not that into movies that exploit places of great sadness. But I didn’t find this to be too bad. It was a little silly, and some of the makeup and hallucinatory monsters were a little…well, *rolls eyes*. But the woods are really eerie (note - NOT filmed in Japan), and the suicide forest is a place I find really fascinating. Like so many scary movies, though, so much is done in darkness. Which is spooky, but really ruins the beautiful and already creepy setting. I don’t have a lot to say about this movie, I guess. Fun to watch at night with a group and some beers and bowls of candy.