Scary Movie Reviews L
:: The Last Days on Mars :: 2013 :: Ruairí Robinson ::
I want to like this movie for a number of reasons: I really LOVE space horror - when I was in high school, I wanted to see how long I could stay awake for, and during the second night of being awake I wrote about 20 pages of a space horror script, ha!. I like Liev Schreiber (although maybe I just like saying his name), and I really like/always want to like Irish horror movies. For such a small country, they sure have a good understand of what’s sad and scary. This movie also avoids a stereotype that I always hate in space movies: the dopey stooge mechanic, as though being a mechanic isn’t a highly skilled job, especially an aerospace mechanic. But let’s face it, this isn’t a great movie. The monsters are scary looking, but not necessarily scary; theres aren’t many jumps and frights; the characters are utterly confusable and ultimately forgettable; and the curveballs are so obvious it’s as if the catcher’s showing the batter instead of the pitcher. Not a bad watch if you’re racking up horror movies, but there are plenty of better options out there.
:: The Lazarus Effect :: 2015 :: David Gelb ::
I really wanted to like this move: Mark Duplass is in the running for favorite-actor-status. But there’s a little mantra I live by: “Horror movies are where good actors go to make bad movies.” Not all of them, of course (see Cillian Murphy in 28 Days Later), but big actors are never my favorites in horror movies. Anyway, this movie stunk. It’s made for teens (it’s PG-13!), and so is a little simplistic in its story and scares. Not terribly believable, and then the scares are mostly based on things flying around and jump-out surprises. BLAGH! Also, these people are scientists? Whaaaat?