Scary Movie Reviews R
:: Ravenous :: 1999 :: Antonia Bird ::
OK, so I had totally romanticized this movie. I saw it years and years ago when I was a lot younger, and I remember it as being beautiful and eerie and terrifying, but it’s really…goofy. Well, the first 20ish minutes are unbearably goofy, but if you suffer through those, you’ll be rewarded by a really intense, weird story about wendigos and cannibalism. The acting is awesome (I looove Robert Carlyle), and the movie remains a little too goofy to truly be scary or disgusting. And Damon Albarn did the soundtrack! I mean, are you kidding me? Good, better, best. Extra points too for a female director! Highly recommended, as long as you can…stomach it.
:: Re-Animator :: 1985 :: Stuart Gordon ::
So here’s the deal: I wouldn’t watch this movie again, but I will recommend you watch it because it’s kind of fun. It’s gross, but fun. The acting is good, the makeup and effects are phenomenal, but that’s where the greatness ends. Actually, the story’s pretty good, based on an H.P. Lovecraft story, about a student working on a reanimation serum that wills top the inevitable horridity of death. But, I felt like it dragged on and on, and I hated the weird, semi-sexual assault scene. Tired of seeing that played out in horror movies. This movie is not funny enough to be funny, not scary enough to be scary. Way overhyped, if you ask me.
:: Re-Kill :: 2015 :: Valeri Milev ::
I’ve seen almost every modern zombie movie - twice! - and so any new addition, particularly one that’s on Netflix, can be considered a real win. It’s pretty silly, the movie plays out from the perspective of a girl watching TV about the post-zombie-outbreak world, including commercials about medications to stop reanimation and commercials promoting sex in order to repopulate America. Mainly, she’s watching a show that follows the R-Division, who work to quell to second uprising of zombies. Like all joke/satire movies, once you get it, quickly becomes tiresome. It’s a fun movie, and not terrible gory. However, this movie performs a rare feat among zombie movies: it’s actually kind of boring. I’d recommend it if you’ve already seen the better ones!