Scary Movie Reviews V
:: Vampires: Out for Blood :: 2004 :: Richard Brandes ::
Cop who’s obsessed with his ex gets put on an undercover job where he meets vampires at a rave. They have maybe 20 people in a dark club, listlessly dancing to industrial bangers in one scene, 80’s power ballads in the next. The actors are the true absence of goth and vampire: weird looking Hollywood extras who resemble the living dead only in their soulless, lifeless eyes. Not bad enough to be fun, not good enough to be enjoyable. Nothing to see here, people, move along.
:: The Visit :: 2016 :: M. Night Shyamalan ::
This wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, and at the moment, we’re all going to have to take this as a compliment. It had some legitimately creepy moments, as Shyamalan’s movies always do. It’s kind of a shame how weird the trajectory of his movies has been. I really loved The Village. Sixth Sense was great! Unbreakable? Strange, but well told and strong. Signs? Signs me up! And then it all goes downhill, slowly, but surely. Until we get here. A goofy movie that relies on kids telling jokes and the tired plot of someone inexplicably recording everything. Who in this world is recording everything? Don’t know anyone, haven’t even seen anyone around who always on a camera on them and their friends. Anyway, totally worth a watch if you’re doing something else while it’s on, but I don’t know, be careful if you’re going to try and watch it full-on.